Sarah Ifill - Registered Midwife
Phone: 07720 571 620
With Valentines Day upon us and the much hyped premiere of “50 Shades of Grey” I am wondering where it leaves women and their partners? It can be a daunting task to predict how the hormones may be affecting her sex drive. For some women their libido can stay in one mode for the entire pregnancy… maybe wanting sex all the time or not at all, and anywhere in between. Others hit highs and lows during different trimesters, and some can even change from day to day! So what do women want their partner to do for Valentines Day? It can be a difficult question to answer given the unpredictability of some women’s sex drive in pregnancy.
I think its fair to say that women do not go off being spoilt, pampered and cuddled, despite the possible side effects, among them nausea, haemorrhoids, and painful breasts which can leave them feeling far from sexy, it’s important that some love and affection are still lavished upon them. Maybe even more, as there is something truly special that’s about to change lives forever, plus, if it’s a first baby, its the last Valentines as a couple!
So partners need to be responsive and prepared to have a plan A, B and C depending on her mood, energy levels and if it appears she’s check out the references in that film!! If sex is something that will be part of your celebrations, then using comfortable positions, e.g. those that don’t put too much/any pressure on her bump, don’t press on her breasts if sensitive, allow her to have some control over what’s happening can be helpful and desirable.
Unless there has been a history of miscarriage or bleeding then it is quite safe; the baby may give a little kick whilst you are making love, but that’s usually because the hormone oxytocin which is responsible for orgasm causes the uterus to contract (that’s a very useful thing to know if you are trying to encourage a birth to start!) The same hormone can also make the breasts leak colostrum, and this its quite normal too.
However, if sex is the last thing on her mind, then maybe some flowers, a nice meal (that doesn’t give her heartburn!) followed by a little massage, and finally tucking her up in bed for an early night, may well be the most loving she thinks you have ever been!
From a professional point of view certain potential fallouts have been duly noted…….